A Civil Ceremony
In Germany there is a large difference between a civil and a religious wedding. A religious wedding can only take place if you have had a civil ceremony at the Registry office. Civil wedding ceremonies are only possible inside the Registry office, and religious weddings can normally only be celebrated inside churches. The majority of Germans marry in civil ceremonies. It is celebrated under the premise that at least one person (bride or groom) is a (temporary) resident in Germany. The registration is done, in most cases, at the Standesamt in the city or town hall, or in a smaller town, at the police station. The non-resident may need to gather the required paperwork and obtain affidavits from a consulate or embassy.
This can also mean that you stay in a hotel or private house and register your presence at the police. This address must exist at least 3 weeks before the wedding. A civil wedding may be held a few days before the religious wedding.
Due to an old law in Germany, the application for the marriage license usually must be hung out at a public building for at least one week so that the general public is informed – Anschlag. Non-residents can make other arrangements through an international registry office (only four).
After the civil ceremony, the couple is joined by a number of friends and family (including those who witnessed the ceremony) and toasted with champagne. They then go to lunch.
A Religious Wedding
A religious wedding can only take place if you have had a civil ceremony at the Registry office. No minister is allowed to perform civil weddings. Civil wedding ceremonies are only possible inside the Registry office, and religious weddings can normally only be celebrated inside churches. In earlier years, a horse-drawn carriage with black horses transported the bridal couple to and from the church.
Today, limousines and full sized cars are used.
On the wedding morning, a breakfast called ‘morning soup‘ or ‘bridal soup‘ is served for the guests. Most weddings are held in the late morning. The groom calls for his bride (who may be hidden for him to find) and drives her to the church.
Guests usually seat themselves. There are no groomsmen or ushers. Usually the first pews are reserved for the family.
The children walk as pages, little girls wear fresh flowered wreaths.
In many parts of Germany, when the priest joins the hands of the couple, the bride tries, in a literal sense, to get the upper hand. The bridegroom tries to do the same, and often a struggle of hands ensues, which is sometimes settled by the priest placing the man’s hand uppermost.
One of the pair, generally the bride, also tries for the same purpose to put her foot on top of the groom’s shoe. When the couple kneels during the ceremony, the groom may kneel on the hem of the bride’s gown, to symbolize he will keep her in order. The bride may step on his foot when she rises, to assert herself.
Guests may be invited to the couple’s home, a banquet hall or country mansion for a reception. Champagne, white wine or schnapps may be served at the reception.